Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
