bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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