I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
