FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
