He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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