I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
