the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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