Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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