Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
