I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
