i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
