He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
