is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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