Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
