So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize