just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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