I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
