If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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