Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
