Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
