it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
