So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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