If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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