Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
