she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
