Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
