If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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