She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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