It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
