Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
