I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
