I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize