Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
