I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
