yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize