she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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