Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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