i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
