Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
