that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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