So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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