Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
