I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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