she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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