How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
