Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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