I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
