that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
