Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
