I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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