census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
