So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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