i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Who died my cat blue again?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
