THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Vodka?
Forever.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize