I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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