go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
