Me. At least after what I've been through.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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