Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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