I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
