Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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