he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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