Sry I called you an 8
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
