the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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