So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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