Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
