The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
