the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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