are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
