we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
